Kids - They Grow up so Fast!
“Don’t leave it until it is too late. Don’t miss out on the best years because you are hoping that it will get better in years to come – they grow up so fast! ”
Whether you work away from home, or live in separate towns, and are separated parenting from a distance is hard work especially when you are confronted with a difficult co-parent who does not seem to support your relationship with your kids. My advice is - do not give up!
Every child has a right to know and be cared for by both of their parents – don’t let anybody fool you or convince you otherwise.
I always hear clients talk about the Family Law Court as ‘being for the mums’ or ‘the fathers have no rights’. These statements are anything but true. What you need to remember is that whilst every child has a right to know both their parents – sometimes you do have to fight for and enforce that right.
Where do you stand in the eyes of the law? Well, let’s break the law down (this may get a bit boring and I may lose you here, but bear with me!). After you know what your rights are under the law, we can then talk about what you can do.
Each parent has parental responsibility (PR) – this ‘means all the duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law parents have in relation to children’. I.e. each parent has a responsibility to decide on the child’s long term issues, such as where the child is to live, education and the health care.
The Family Law Act (Act) states that if it is safe to do so, parents are encouraged to consult with each other about major long-term issues regarding the child and in doing so, have regard to the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration.
A Court can Order that parents either have joint or sole decision - making in relation to all or specified major long - term issues.
So what does “major long-term issue” and “best interests of a child” actually mean?
Major Long-Term issues is defined in the Family Law Act as meaning issues about the care, welfare and development of the child of a long - term nature and includes (but is not limited to) issues of that nature about:
(a) the child's education (both current and future); and
(b) the child's religious and cultural upbringing; and
(c) the child's health; and
(d) the child's name; and
(e) changes to the child's living arrangements that make it significantly more difficult for the child to spend time with a parent.
To avoid doubt, a decision by a parent of a child to form a relationship with a new partner is not, of itself, a major long - term issue in relation to the child. However, the decision will involve a major long - term issue if, for example, the relationship with the new partner involves the parent moving to another area and the move will make it significantly more difficult for the child to spend time with the other parent.
They are essentially the types of decisions that parents are encouraged to consult one another about before making a final decision. Parents are encouraged to make joint decisions regarding major long-term issues.
When parents are making decisions about major long-term issues for their children, or if the parents cannot agree and a Court must make the decision on their behalf, then the best interests of the child must be regarded as the paramount consideration.
“Interests” are defined in the Family Law Act to include “matters related to the care, welfare or development of the child.”
“Care”, “welfare” and “development” are not words that are defined in the Family Law Act, however the Act does set out factors that the Court must take into consideration when determining what is in a child’s best interests.
The Family Law Act sets out 6 general considerations that the Court must take into consideration when determining what is in a child’s best interests and they are:
what arrangements would promote the safety (including safety from being subjected to, or exposed to, family violence, abuse, neglect, or other harm) of the child and each person who has care of the child.
any views expressed by the child
the developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs of the child
the capacity of each person who has or is proposed to have parental responsibility for the child to provide for the child's developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs
the benefit to the child of being able to have a relationship with the child's parents, and other people who are significant to the child, where it is safe to do so
anything else that is relevant to the particular circumstances of the child
In considering arrangements which promote the safety of the child or person who has care of the child, the Court must consider any history of family violence, abuse or neglect and any family violence order that applies or has applied to the child or a member of the child’s family.
Ok, now that we have the law side of things sorted, where does that leave you? How do you enforce your child’s rights?
Well, first off if you are either finding it difficult to see your child or communicate with the other parent, then your first port of call is to mediate – you need to do this before you can go to Court to seek any Orders as there is a certificate that you will need to obtain. Not only that, mediation also promotes communication – which is usually the biggest issue between co-parents! I cannot stress communication enough – if you can communicate with the other parent, then you are almost there.
But there are times when communication is either not enough or the other parent just frustrates the process (or they won’t even agree to attend mediation). Unfortunately this is a common issue and when you are working away from home (or even when you are not) this makes co-parenting very difficult. A lot of people give up at this stage - I say push on and mediate. If you do not get anywhere there, then apply to the Court. Don’t leave it until it is too late. Don’t miss out on the best years because you are hoping that it will get better in years to come – they grow up so fast!
Where to from here?
You are probably in one of three head spaces right now:
You liked the information, you found it interesting - but that’s all you wanted for now.
This blog post resonated with you but you are just not ready yet to do anything and just want to look at more information – I suggest you look at the other free information we have on our website.
You are wanting more information about what you need to know after separation or you are ready to do something about your problem right now. If that is the case, then book an appointment with us by clicking here to make an online booking!
